The Best Chili in the World

You will need:

A very large cast iron pot

A frying pan

A large bottle of Tequila

Six cans of beer, preferably Corona

5 dried ancho peppers

1 chipotle pepper

3 birdseye peppers

4 jalapeno peppers

Bacon fat for frying

10 garlic cloves, roughly chopped

5 kg of ox meat in 1 cm cubes

Half a cup of flour

A cup of chili powder

Two cups of dark ox broth

2 tablespoons of cumin, dry roast before use if you’d like

2 tbsp of oregano

2 tbsp of ground coriander seeds

0,5 tbsp of white sugar

Salt to taste, start lightly

Rough corn flour, masa harina

This is how you’ll make it: 1. Pour yourself a healthy amount of Tequila, to the brim. This is also a good time to give those old Hank Williams LPs a spin, just so that you can get into the proper chili-perspective for the entire experience.

1. Then start with the peppers. Get rid of the stems and seeds. Boil the dried pepper for 15 minutes with the lid on. Put to the side and let cool.

2. Get rid of the stems and seeds for the other peppers and put to the side. This is also a good time to warn you. Peppers are strong. They BURN. So watch out for the fumes as you’re cooking and carefully wash your hands afterwards. And think about what you’re doing with your hands for the next day or so. If you’re the type of person who picks your nose, you might as well do it with a soldering iron.

3. Have another tequila, a proper big one. You’ll need it because we’re about to get into this for real.

4. Fry the garlic until its soft and brown. Transfer to your pot.

5. Increase the heat of the frying pan and start frying the meat. Do it a little bit at a time so that you’re not just boiling it. Transfer to pot. This is hot, greasy and time-consuming work that requires both patience and tequila.

6. Mix flour and chili powder. Spread over the meat in the pot.

7. Strain the boiled peppers but save the water. Mash the boiled pepper and add all of it to the meat.

8. Add the pepper water, ox broth and beer until the liquid covers the meat. Bring to a boil.

9. Now the chili is on its way. A satisfied chef may now take a step back, admire his creation and reward himself with another tequila, quickly followed by the remaining beer.

10. Let the chili simmer. Add the cumin, oregano and coriander. Stir often so that your masterpiece does not burn on the bottom.

11. Keep simmering until the meat starts falling apart, it should take two, three hours.

12. Tequila!!!

13. Its possible that the chili will be a bit runny when you near the end, if so you should add a little bit of he corn flour to thicken it up.

14. Finish the last of the tequila (if you havent yet). Take the pot from the stove, get rid of the fat that has collected on top.

This recipe should be enough for about 20 normal people but at most 10 chili lovers.

Serve the chili in small, deep plates. Many people love eating it with corn chips, some creme fraiche or some roughly grated cheddar cheese on top. Serve salad, bread, guacamole and large amounts of Corona with it.

The music is almost as important. Go for something genuine: Hank Williams, Buddy Holly, Joe Ely, Jerry Jeff Walker, Flaco Jiminez, Butch Hancock, Commander Cody and his Lost Airmen or Gram Parsons. As evening turns to night, you can’t go wrong playing Freddy Fenders immortal ”Before the next teardrop falls” or Creedence Clearwater Revivals ”Lodi”. Playing Wilco, Weeping Willows is also a possibility and preferably you should all sing some old Carter Family songs together like ”Will The Circle Be Unbroken”. The volume should deafening. Sing along. Bawl if you’d like. And remember, a true chili-evening M U S T get out of hand after nightfall.

Addendum 1: since first publishing this recipe we’ve received a number of complaints regarding the amount of tequila in this recipe. Everyone who has contacted us has been in agreement that one bottle is far too little. Of course the amount specified in the recipe is only a recommendation for one person.

Our colleague Peter Svensson also has an interesting variant which follows: FAST CHILI: In case of emergency all ingredients may be substituted for only Tequila. This lowers the cooking time substantially.

Addendum 2: For New Years Eve 1990, Jan Gradvall and Stefan Lindström cooked chili and followed this recipe to the letter. Neither of them remember anything after 6 PM but survivors have told them that the evening was unusually successful.

Addendum 3: This recipe was badly translated by me for Reddit, a version of this recipe has appeared in the swedish tabloid Expressen. First in 1988 and then in 1991. For a few years this was the most requested article from the papers archive. Our friends from the text archive even told us that they received a request for a copy from Saudi Arabia during Desert Storm.

Addendum: You may freely spread and copy this recipe on the condition that you do not mix beans in the chili.

bon appetit