First you take some rusty ol' scissors. Must be male or have a male friend for next step.i recommend you take a whole medicine cabinet worth of pain killers or just take a couple of rails of meth before the next step. Then you just go to town or your/his genitals. Chop that twig and berries right off. Have a bucket or some shit below to catch all the blood and chunks of flesh. One your done take out a metal platter and some dissecting tools for the next part.
Now your gonna want to remove those testes from the hairy old sac before cooking and seasoning this bitch. Just make a small slit down the middle of the ballsac and use tweezers to remove those balls. Pop them in your or your buddies face for some semen splattered fun. Now your ready to get this dick all delicious and seasoned.
Next you have a choice of how you want this to go. You can go the deep fry route or the grill and season route. Grilling is pretty goddamn simple and you can do that by your own faggot self so I'm not gonna describe that to you. If you don't know how to grill either hop in a water filled bathtub and drop a plugged in hair dryer into it or find a tutorial. I'll teach you how to deep fry.
First shoot a baby endangered panda in the face with a grenade launcher. You can figure out the rest from there.
Lovingly created by your friendly neighborhood TateEight. I hate you all. This is an obvious troll post just have a laugh and leave an upvote.
bon appetit
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